Seeking Joy in Moments of Conflict
by Amanda Hughes, author of Mystic Storyteller: A Writer’s Guide to Using the Tarot for Creative Inspiration
In the mornings before work, while I’m “putting on my face,” as we call it over here in my little corner of the South (AKA applying makeup), I love to listen to podcasts.
One particular morning a couple of years ago, while scrolling through Spotify in search of new podcasts to discover, researcher and storyteller Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us climbed up my smartphone screen. I tapped on the icon, listened to an episode, and then found myself returning to the podcast again on my walk later that day, and then again in the car while driving to pick up dinner that evening. By the end of the week, I had binged a couple dozen episodes. I LOVED the show.
While I could go on and on about Brené’s wisdom, my rabbit hole ventures through her research on shame and vulnerability, and her incredibly inspiring podcast guests, one of the greatest takeaways I’ve learned from Unlocking Us is a recurring theme across many episodes: the paradox of seeking joy in the midst of conflict.
In a conversation with her friend, author and activist Karen Walrond, Brené mentioned being “not okay” right now. At the time of the episode, “right now” was March 2022. Pandemic procedures were still in place, and the media was peppered with news about coronavirus variants, the prevalence of police brutality directed toward Black Americans, extremely upsetting laws being passed in both Karen and Brené’s home state of Texas that demoralized trans children, and the war with Russia and Ukraine.
Despite being “not okay” with all of that fear, pain, and hardship, Karen reminded Brené of the importance of seeking joy.
How? I wondered. How can anyone seek joy in spite of all this heartbreak? In the podcast episode, Brené with Karen Walrond on Accessing Joy and Finding Connection in the Midst of Struggle, Karen reminds listeners that, and I paraphrase, “I am/we are responsible for accessing joy in order to remind ourselves of what’s worth fighting for. No matter how small, you can hang hope onto joy and the intentional seeking of it.”
I had to pause the podcast.
I returned my green-capped mascara wand back into its pink tube and opened my notes app on my phone. Immediately, I typed these words:
What’s worth fighting for is worth living for is worth writing for.
I thought about the aforementioned situations that, like Brené, were also rendering me “not okay,” and my mind drifted back into the past, recalling many struggles and hardships that had threatened to break me. They hadn’t, though, and I remembered how far I had come despite them. Rather than ruin me, my experiences had inspired me to write about them, to wrangle the fear, pain, and difficulties and channel them into stories. I asked myself, How can I access joy in spite of the raging dumpster fires that threaten to steal it?
I can return to my core: I am an artist, advocate, and writer. Rather than continue to spiral beneath the horrors unfolding in my community and in the media, I can use what I’ve endured and make a difference in the lives of others. I can turn my struggles into stories.
Looking through a Tarot Lens
When considering the concept of seeking joy in moments of conflict, I’m reminded of The Fool’s journey. In the tarot’s Major Arcana, The Fool returns to The World, but only after they’ve completed their long, tedious, and sometimes heartbreaking trek. Like the adventurous Fool, you are also on a journey, and during times of conflict and/or despair, you can return to yourself—or, perhaps, your Self. The World card serves as a reminder that while you have endured struggle and suffering, despair and disappointment, you can always look around for reasons to seek joy, reasons to be grateful for how far you have come.
Whether literal or metaphorical, the Return to Self/Center spread was designed for use after the completion of a journey. After enduring a long and/or difficult situation, or upon arriving at your desired destination or outcome, use this spread to reveal all the ways in which your experience might have affected or changed you.
Return to Self/Center Spread
1. Search your tarot deck for The World card and lay it on the center space for Card 1.
2. Next, shuffle your deck until you are satisfied that the cards are ready for pulling, and then turn the deck facedown as if you were about to deal them.
3. From the top of the deck, start turning cards over onto the space for Card 2. When the first Cups card lands on this space, move on to Card 3.
4. Repeat the process by turning over cards and laying them on the space for Card 3 until you arrive at your first Swords card.
5. Repeat again for Card 4 (Wands) and Card 5 (Pentacles).
6. Ask yourself the following questions, using your intuition to consider the answers.
Card 2: Aquarius / Water / Heart / Cups—How has this journey touched my heart?
Card 3: Scorpio / Air / Mind / Swords—What aspects of this journey have influenced my way of thinking?
Card 4: Leo / Fire / Spirit / Wands—How has this journey changed my spirit?
Card 5: Taurus / Earth / Body / Pentacles—What aspects of my body have been affected by this journey?
Seeking Joy Guided Journal: A Gift for You
I want to take a moment to thank Nancy for offering me space as a guest writer here on her Substack. Her work is top notch, so I was honored when she asked me to contribute a piece. I’m grateful to you as well for reading it!
As a gift to you, I have designed the Seeking Joy in Moments of Conflict guided wellness journal. This journal was created as a tool for uncovering how you might intentionally seek joy during times when struggles threaten to block your path. Inside, you will find 22 considerations, each inspired by the tarot’s Major Arcana. My hope is that you might use your tarot cards to help you rediscover how much joy is available to you even in the most challenging moments. Download your copy of the journal here.
MYSTIC STORYTELLER Release Date and Other Details
The Mystic Storyteller book and tarot deck is being launched on BackerKit Tuesday, August 6, 2024. That means YOU will have the chance to demonstrate your Magician skills by helping manifest this endeavor. To stay updated, get on my email list! Visit www.HaintBlueCreative.com/mystic-storyteller. I promise not to spam you. Spam is for sandwiches... maybe. And BONUS! Every subscriber receives a free workbook: Fill Your Cup: Focus on YOU.
About Mandy
In her more than thirty years as a storyteller and visual designer, Amanda “Mandy” Hughes has written and designed over a dozen works of literary, Southern Gothic, and women’s fiction under pen names A. Lee Hughes and Mandy Lee.
Mandy is the founder of Haint Blue Creative®, a space for readers and storytellers to explore, learn, and create. She holds a Bachelor and Master of Science in Psychology, and she has worked as an instructional designer for nearly twenty years.
When she’s not writing, Mandy enjoys the movies, theater, music, traveling, nature walks, birdwatching, and binging The Office. She is a tarot enthusiast who uses the cards to enhance creativity and foster wellness. Her book Mystic Storyteller: A Writer’s Guide to Using the Tarot for Creative Inspiration and companion tarot deck are coming to La Panthère Studio in 2024.
Mandy lives in Georgia with her husband and four sons, two of whom are furrier than the others (but not by much). Subscribe to her Substack @HaintBlueCreative and follow her on Instagram @HaintBlueCreative and @MysticStorytellerTarot.
Love the questions in the workbook. Thanks for sharing!
Oh, Nancy! Thank you so much for hosting me with this piece! I hope you and your readers find inspiration in its words and activities.