How are you doing?
a five card spread & healing ritual for trying times
Today’s Ancestral Threads post is free to all subscribers. Be kind to yourself.
I’ve written and rewritten this post
more times than I want to admit. Partly because I know that nothing I write fits everyone; partly because I don’t have the answers to everything. But over the last few weeks I’ve seen so many social media posts by people who are hurting: lost jobs, lost elections, lost relationships, difficult work conditions, or a sense of not knowing where to go next. As someone who came to tarot as a healer, I want to help as I can.
Meet my mom. She’s the one I take a lot of cues from, even now that she’s in Spirit. Mom never longed for the ‘good old days’; for her, the past meant a time when kids died from measles (a vaccine wasn’t available until 1963). She was without prejudice; she loved you whether you were a gay or straight, left or right, Black or Brown. Her goal for all of us kids was happiness. I was lucky to be born into her family. Luckier than most, I think.
So whenever my life has hit hard times I look back to the family of today and my family of the past, and know I’ll be okay. Again, I’m lucky because the strength of family underpins my life.
But what if yours doesn’t? What if you don’t know your family history, or what if your family of origin was a toxic, tortured mess?
Here’s where I hope I can help.
My suggestion: Create and depend on another type of
family. A family whose members may not carry a single strand of your DNA; a family with the courage of Alexei Navalny, or the ancestors who gifted word imagery to Amanda Gorman. Pick a person who has the game you want for your own - even if that person only existed in the mind of their creator. Think Jane Eyre, Katniss Everdeen, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
I’ve reached out to Emily Dickinson as she was the first author who inspired me to be a writer. I reach out to my mom, who I suspect would love to be an ‘ancestor’ for many of you. There was an instance when I really needed strength to get through a truly difficult time; I drew cards and called on Abigail Adams (wife of America’s 2nd President) ‘cause she was one tough broad.
If you need to reach out beyond your DNA-family, go to the person who can help. For example, if love is elusive, ask Jane Austen’s Elinor and Marianne about relationship woes. Trust me, they knew a thing or two about heartache. (Sense and Sensibility). Or how about the hero’s journey and the battle between good and evil you’ll find in Severance (Apple TV)?
Choose who you think can help your specific situation, then . . . grab your cards and shuffle because I have a spread for you
The Getting Better Spread
Shuffle your deck (tarot or oracle) and lay out five cards in a design of your choosing. The card positions represent:
Card 1: The Roots - the source of your anxiety, pain, loneliness
Card 2: The Shadow - the lingering impact on you
Card 3: The First Step - the first step to moving towards mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual healthk
Card 4: The Ally - an ‘ancestral’ (blood or not) guide offering support - Draw this card from the Court cards or from Major Arcana.
Card 5: The Path Forward - how to navigate the healing journey
Note: I used Major Arcana only for this spread.
Interpreting the cards: A sample reading I did for a friend
Card 1: The Roots – The source of the toxicity
Card Drawn: The Devil
The toxic patterns stem from cycles of control, addiction, or fear-based behaviors. These could be tied to ancestral traumas or oppressive circumstances your family faced, like poverty or injustice, or being otherized. Acknowledge where these patterns came from without internalizing them.
Card 2: The Shadow – The lingering impact on you
Card Drawn: The Tower
The family’s toxicity may have shaken your sense of safety and self-worth. This card asks you to dismantle the parts of yourself that were built on their unfair/unjust foundation. You are not the tower.
Card 3: The First Step –
Card Drawn: Temperance
Your ancestors challenge you to find balance, healing, and a new harmony within yourself. Temperance asks you to take one small step in integrating all parts of your life. For example, how can you walk your spiritual path in the workplace? Take a single practical step.
Card 4: The Ally – An ancestral guide offering support
Card Drawn: The Star
A hopeful and compassionate ancestor. The Star is a reminder that there really is light beyond shadow. This ally offers inspiration and encouragement as you heal. They urge you to dream beyond your family’s limitations. (I did draw a Court card as well, just to get a sense of who this ally might be).
Card 5: The Path Forward – How to navigate the healing journey
Card Drawn: The Fool
Your ancestors encourage a leap of faith. Trust yourself to start anew, unburdened by the toxicity of the past, your family, social media, or your friends. Embrace curiosity, take risks, and allow yourself to explore a life that feels authentic and free.
What’s important to remember is a toxic family history, a screwed up relationship or a crappy job does not define you. Trust in the power of your own path.
Next, after you’ve completed your reading, here’s one more suggestion:
Mini-Ritual
It’s my hope that this ritual can help release whatever is causing you pain or discomfort.
What You’ll Need:
A black candle (for releasing negativity)
A white candle (for inviting healing and renewal)
A piece of paper and a pen
A pinch of salt A fire-safe dish or cauldron
Steps:
Create a Sacred Space:
Sit in a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed. Arrange the items in front of you. Place the black candle on your left, the white candle on your right, and the pinch of salt in the center.Set Your Intention:
Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, then set your intention for the healing you wish to manifest.Light the Black Candle:
Focus on the family patterns or disappointments or behaviors that no longer serve you. Write them down on the piece of paper. Be specific as you can. As you write, visualize the toxic energy flowing out of you and into the words.Burn the Paper:
Place the paper in the fire-safe dish and safely burn it (or tear it up if you cannot use fire). Envision releasing the toxicity to the Universe.Light the White Candle:
Focus on inviting healing and positive energy into your life.Ground the Energy:
Place the salt in the and visualize roots extending from you into the ground, anchoring you.Close the Ritual:
Extinguish the candles, thanking your ancestors for their guidance. Dispose of the salt in trash that will be taken away.
Can this spread work with an oracle deck?
I know many people prefer oracles to tarot, so I drew five cards from the Botanical Dreams Oracle.
Card 1: The Roots - the source of the toxicity - Illumination
Card 2: The Shadow - the lingering impact - Grace
Card 3: The First Step - Soul Sisters
Card 4: The Ally - an ancestral guide offering support - Seeds of Love
Card 5: The Path Forward - how to navigate the healing journey - Heartsong
I had to give cards 1 and 2 far more thought using the oracle than tarot, but the ah-ha moments in cards 3, 4, and 5 were my reward.
Will all oracle decks work here? I’m really not sure. But if you prefer working with an oracle, I encourage you to try it and judge for yourself.
And regardless of what’s going on in your life right now, give yourself a little grace. You are loved.
xo
Nancy
P.S. Thank you for commenting on your cards if you feel comfortable doing so. 💚
Thank you for sharing. Last night our little granddaughter, not quite two, was playing with a Rose tarot card. She would not let it go! Her great grandmother 's name (on her daddy's side)was Rose. She just kissed and kissed it!
Then, when we were leaving, our daughter found a very old penny outside their front door. That would be my mother's doing! We believe they were there in Spirit...
So I did the French Cross — 1 [center], 2 [left], 3 [right], 4 [above center], and 5 [below center]. I flip the cards and …
At the controlling center and the root source of anxiety, pain, loneliness stands Le Diable, The Devil. Who would have guessed!
Ready to jump from [or into?] the shadow is The Pope, The Heirophant!
The first step into healing is L’Imperatrice, The Empress. The Ally is XI, La Force [Strength/Justice switch places in Tarot de Marseille], and the path forward is The Lover. All Majors? Well — It’s a TdM thing. And the author did it!
The Devil is the one card touching all others. The Devil would influence everyone; dealing with that falls to everyone. No matter one’s place in life, none are untouched by pain.
Direction matters in this layout. The Pope looks to The Devil, and his triple-bar staff parallels The Devil’s torch. And he seems to use it as a poker to keep a devotee in place [so as not to block his view of The Devil?].
The Pope would engage The Devil. Is he drawn to the wings? Wishing he could fly? The Pope seems ambiguous. Shadowy. Does he want in The Devil’s space? Become his imp? Or maybe be The Devil himself?
Animated by anxiety, pain and loneliness [he feeds on them], The Devil lusts insatiably. He fascinates The Pope. Mystified, hypnotized, enthralled, he must gaze at The Devil’s pure Magnificence.
Sharpening our awareness of moral issues, The Pope may actually lengthen shadow. He ponders it, or weighs its power, or wonders if it could be pressed into his service.
But The Empress looks away from The Devil. Her shield blocks his influences. Held by the same hand, her mace leans away and her eyes turn from him as if saying, ‘we’re done!’
As The Pope ponders The Devil, The Empress turns away. The first step toward resolution is to change one’s relationship with the source of injury. And The Devil?
The Devil looks directly at us. He asks, what will YOU do? None can escape his gaze.
“You have the devil underrated
I cannot yet persuaded be
A fellow who is all behated
Must something be!” — Goethe
Ally and lion tamer, La Force’ [Strength] hat recalls The Magician, another ‘I’ in the next decimal series. However her magic works not in the outer world as The Magician, but as inner growth. As the lion’s head presses into her groin, she uses her hands and mind to ‘Force’ open what is closed and unseen.
Knowing and accepting untamed, primitive nature is unsettling. But this ‘lion’ must be seized if shadow work is to lead to liberation and transformative healing. So the ally points to the path forward.
The TdM ‘The Lover’ is a complex, social card. Between two women, a young man. Who is who, and who does what to whom isn’t quite clear. Do they quarrel or haggle? Choice or union, protection or domination, we don’t know. Like XVIII, VI is dark mystery.
Learning to navigate those dark spaces is the way forward. The youth is emotionally involved with both women, but in different ways. Drawn to both, he seems conflicted in his desires. The elder is a motherly figure. The younger places her hand over his heart. Another hand is over her belly. Whose hand? We can’t tell. Perhaps she carries his child.
This image tells countless stories. But in the quest for inner healing, the way ahead faces all that was and will be, owning and uniting each part in one heart and one narrative. We own our experience so that it won’t own us. And as The Lover shows, this works best when we can own that story around others.
Thank you for the post, Nancy! Take care and be well!
Edit: Added clarification.